Flo Carpenter

Flo Carpenter led a life filled with joy, laughter and love. She was born on November 29, 1929, in North Bergen, New Jersey, to Sam and Francis Brett. Florence Virginia Gabrielle Brett came later in their lives; her brother Eddie, sister Madalyn and brother Howie were 15, 14 and 13 years older than her. She had memories as a young child growing up during the great depression, her family moving often, her mom making clothes and her dad taking whatever work he could get through the union. She was ill as a child, and her brothers gave her the nickname Weasey.

She was still quite young when her brothers joined the military. Her father was a steamfitter and moved the family to the Panama Canal where work was done on big ships. They lived in civilian housing on Fort Clayton. They moved back and forth between New Jersey and Panama for many years, usually travelling by cruise ship since her mom didn’t like to fly.

Since she was very young Flo was a talented artist. She took art classes while in secondary school. She filled sketch books with drawings and learned the art of oil painting.

She graduated high school, learned shorthand and typing and took an office job in Panama. It was there she met the love of her life, Ralph Carpenter. He was in the Army. They dated when they were both in Panama, and when he was deployed or she was home in New Jersey they wrote letters. When he was discharged from the Army and back home in Oregon, he asked her to marry him. She shipped the household goods she had purchased with her earnings, telegraphed Ralph the day and time of her arrival, and jumped on a train. She forgot to tell him she was coming by train – he would tell the story of trying to figure out what mode of transport she was taking so he could meet her! He did find her, and they were married on December 29, 1948. She was 19 years old, he was 26.

Their first home was in a logging camp in Tyee, Oregon, where Ralph built her a house with indoor plumbing and she learned to cook. She said she would put on his heavy wool socks and “skate” through the house to polish the floors. Ralph’s brother Wayne lived with them, and although she took her job of caring for them very seriously, we have all heard tales of the fun they had playing jokes and games.

Ralph’s parents were older and needed help, so they moved to Estacada to be near them. Many members of Ralph’s family lived nearby. In 1950 they welcomed baby Kathy. Ralph was recalled into the military. Flo went to Florida to live with her mom and sister’s family while Ralph was stationed in Germany. During leave they met for a few days in New York; nine months later they welcomed baby Michael. When Ralph was discharged a second time, the young family moved back to Estacada to live near Ralph’s parents. There Flo helped her in-laws with home tasks – washing and cooking, gardening and canning, taking care of the children and the elders.

In 1957 they moved to Seattle to follow job opportunities. Flo continued as a home maker, filling her days with caring for her family and home, and squeezing in time for drawing and painting. She attended the League of Women Voters and other women’s organizations with her mother-in-law. She was an active member of Our Lady of Guadalupe Catholic Church. In 1960 they had a third child, Robin, and in 1964 little Ralph, better known as Rowdy, was born. Through the years Flo volunteered at the schools her children attended, working in the office, creating newsletters and illustrating PTA cookbooks.

Flo was a great mom. She taught her children the basics – good manners, how to read and write and count. But there was so much more. We learned fundamental values of kindness, tolerance, acceptance and empathy. She taught us art – when we learned our colors we also learned the color wheel, and how to use shading and perspective, and how to critique the art we saw everywhere. She played all types of music, mostly big band, pop and country. She told us stories and encouraged reading, and we memorized poetry and quotes and tongue-twisters. We played games – cards, dice, cribbage, board games, hide and seek, dress-up. She packed our school lunches in brown paper bags covered with funny drawings of what was inside, such as Mr. Peanut and a strawberry if there was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. There were faces on the eggs in the refrigerator. We learned the constellations under the night sky. She encouraged our imaginations and made us believe magic was possible. Ralph and Flo loved their children, helped them learn and grow, instilled self-confidence and worth, supported them through hard times and taught them the fundamental meaning of love and family.

Ralph and Flo were good members of their community. In every home they lived in, they made friends with their neighbors and “adopted” elderly neighbors, visiting daily and providing help with house and yard work. For a time they were foster parents. In Seattle they planted a community garden. For many years in Rochester Flo volunteered during elections as a poll worker, getting supplies, setting up polling venues, checking registrations, collecting and submitting ballots.

Music and dancing were always a part of their lives. In the early 1960s they discovered square dancing. This became a passion. They were very active in their dancing club, the Westside Wheelers, and in the Central Puget Sound regional council. They went dancing a few nights a week. Ralph became a caller, and they taught lessons and led a teen dancing club, the Teen Twirlers. Many nights they would move the furniture to the side of the living room, put on a record and practice a new round dance, a new step, or work out new calls for squares. Flo was busy on her sewing machine making their dance outfits. On caravans to dance with other clubs, they would “steal” the club banner. It was not unusual to have a club banner hanging in their living room; Flo would sketch it in detail then recreate the banner in miniature. When it was time to return the stolen banner, Ralph would tell a story about how they had to wash the banner and it shrank – a prank that ended with the return of the original and a gift of the mini banner. Flo’s artwork became known throughout the Puget Sound square dance community.

In the economic downturn of the early 1970s, Ralph took a job in Chehalis, and the family moved to Rochester. They continued square dancing, with Ralph calling for clubs in Olympia and Adna. Ralph died in 1983. Flo continued living in Rochester for many years, staying active in local bible study groups and taking art classes, and spending time with family and friends.

After recovery from a serious illness in 2004, Flo moved to Olympia to be closer to her children. She frequently went to the Lacey Senior Center, where she participated in painting classes, pinochle and music. She was often seen tapping along on days when the musicians would sing and play their guitars and other instruments. She was known for sketching the players as she listened and afterwards handing them the sketches.

It was here in early 2006 that she met Charles “Chuck” Montgomery. Chuck and Flo would spend the next 12 happy years together. Their days were filled with Chuck playing guitar at church, events and the senior center, and Flo listening and sketching. They spent time visiting family and friends. Flo took care of Chuck when he became ill, and until his death in 2017.

At 88 years old, Flo was still independent and active. Rowdy shared her home so she wasn’t alone. She was still taking art classes and spending time at the Senior Center. In 2019 she went with family on a cruise to Alaska, and in early 2020 took a trip with Robin to Arizona to visit family. After COVID she became less active, but still enjoyed music and outings.

Flo loved people – talking to them, getting to know them, taking care of them. She stayed in contact her entire life with her family and friends. The post office loved the letters she wrote because she covered the backs of the envelopes in drawings and cartoons. Her phone book was always handy, and she was thrilled to call and chat even when her hearing aids weren’t working very well. Even if she didn’t get to see you very often, when she did connect you could tell she thought of you often and held you close to her heart.

Flo experienced the heartbreak of losing both her sons, Michael in 2019 and Rowdy in 2023, and her son-in-law Mike Vermillion in 2023. She is survived by daughter Kathy Vermillion, daughter Robin and son-in-law Dan Campbell, grandchildren Shannon LaCourse, Jessica Campbell and husband Clint, Sadie Rasmussen and husband Eric, Nic Carpenter and wife Liz, and Chris Carpenter and wife Jennifer, and their families, and many nieces and nephews. She got to meet, play and do art with great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren.

Flo passed on May 29, 2026, at 96 years old. She filled our home and hearts with love, laughter and kindness. Flo was essentially a very optimistic person. She faced many years of health concerns with grace and an attitude that it was just the next thing she had to deal with; she did not let health challenges get in the way of living a happy life. She was a delightful mix of wisdom and innocence with a bit of mischief thrown in for good measure. We will miss her but celebrate her life and think about how happy she is to be in heaven with family she missed and the God she loved.

There will be a service held in Flo’s memory on July 19th, 2026 at 1:30pm at Funeral Alternatives 2830 Willamette DR NE Lacey, WA. 98516