Raymond Henry Wiener

One of a Kind

Raymond Wiener — Husband, father, brother, uncle, grandfather, engineer, executive, athlete, coach, and letter-writer — died peacefully at his daughter’s home in Shoreline, Washington, on July 27, 2026. He was 88.

Born May 28, 1938, in Flushing, Queens, NY, to Francis Louis Wiener and Edna Margaret (Lamb) Wiener, Raymond grew up in a happy home, with a mother who taught school at P.S. 3 in Queens and a father who worked for Consolidated Edison, the utility company serving New York. Raymond and his younger siblings, Margaret and John, supported one another through life and remained close. Later in life, Ray completed a beautifully detailed draftsman sketch of the old neighborhood from memory and distributed copies to friends and family.

Raymond was a long-awaited blessing for his parents, but he endured a difficult start, as he arrived with an undeveloped facial structure, a cleft lip and cleft palate, and endured seven corrective surgeries as an infant and young child. He became a tough kid, but along with that toughness came a deep curiosity and optimism, a clever sense of humor, and an abiding interest in the well-being of others, creating a beautiful life for himself and those around him.

In his teens, Raymond discovered a new world by becoming the “set-up” man for Charles Leon, the famous New York photographer whose work chronicled high society and often appeared in the New York Times. From debutante balls to family portraits, every Saturday Raymond set off for their shoot in Mr. Leon’s brand-new Oldsmobile to the Fifth Avenue brownstones or sprawling wooded estates of Westchester and Greenwich.

Growing up, all spare moments went to sports — baseball on the sandlots, basketball in the schoolyard, and later, YMCA and parish teams at Saint Andrew Avellino (which Ray led to the all-NYC finals one year). He was a strong student and tested into Brooklyn Technical High School, one of NYC's most competitive. He earned a civil engineering degree at The University of Vermont, where he became a two-sport Division 1 athlete…diving for loose balls as the starting guard on the varsity basketball team, and setting the school record for highest batting average ever for a third baseman. Later, in the men's softball league in Hastings-on-Hudson, NY his talent got him invited to be the only non-policeman on the precinct’s team.

Raymond was busy in college. Elected president of the 500-member Newman Club, serving the university's Catholic students, he was also treasurer of his fraternity, Phi Delta Theta. He washed dishes in the dining hall twice a week for his meals, and one summer hitchhiked across the country with friend Bob Donahue.

Raymond loved building things. From the sturdiest basketball hoop ever installed over a garage, with a cantilever system he designed and constructed, to the distinctive white fabric peaks atop the Denver airport, to Terminal One at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood Airport, which earned him a formal commendation from the mayor.

His career highlight arrived when American Airlines asked him to build the company’s new corporate headquarters in Dallas-Fort Worth…roughly a dozen four-story buildings, set in a wooded grove around ponds and walkways. They sent a New Yorker to carve an oasis out of the Texas prairie. It went well. At the project's opening, American Airlines’ President, Bob Crandall, presented Raymond with a special award, a bald eagle carved from white marble, and sent the whole family to Europe for ten days, expenses paid.

His favorite city was Boston, and he rented houses on Cape Cod with friends after college. He loved Emily Dickinson, Abraham Lincoln, Rodney Dangerfield, and Billy Joel, whom he called “our national poet.” He was a Yankees fan who enjoyed a lifetime of winning, a Knicks fan who watched his team win their first championship in 50 years last summer…and a NY Giants fan.

The most important aspect of Raymond’s life resulted from meeting and marrying Mary Patricia Bluhm. When they met, Mary Pat was a social worker after a full scholarship to St. Louis University for her master's degree. She had twice been elected president of her student body, in high school and again in college. They met when Ray came to pick up Mary Pat’s roommate for a date and married on April 22, 1967 at the stunning St. Louis Cathedral. This was the start of a fifty-nine-year marriage built on love, hard work, and commitment to family. That love was evident as the children recently reviewed cards and letters between them, some dating back to the sixties. Full of warmth, respect, humor, and sometimes poetry, their love affair continues to serve as an example to the family.

You knew it when Ray Wiener loved you because of his actions and words…and because if he thought you needed it, he would send you a single-spaced, five-page letter telling you so. He was an exceptional father…teaching, encouraging, challenging, coaching, forgiving, and always loving. Asked late in life about favorite memories with his children, he said: “Building snowmen, sandcastles and integrity with them.”

Raymond found inspiration and purpose in spiritual teachings, particularly A Course in Miracles and Perfect Brilliant Stillness, which emphasized that beyond the stories of our individual lives lies an enduring unity, love, and stillness that connects us all. This understanding guided his generous spirit to meet life’s joyous and challenging times with compassion, humor, and a profound appreciation for the beauty of existence. While his physical presence will be missed, his family takes comfort knowing the wisdom and unconditional love he trusted so deeply can never be lost or separated from those who loved him. His legacy lives in the hearts of those he touched, and the essence of who he is remains timeless, limitless, and forever at peace.

Ray is survived by his wife, Mary Pat Wiener; his children, David Wiener (Lizzie), Beth Kimmick (Jim), Christel Cangas (Laz), and Grace Wiener; ten grandchildren; his siblings, Margaret Shumway and John Wiener, and nephews and nieces whom he loved. He was preceded in death by his parents, Frank and Edna Wiener of New York City, and his parents-in-law, Wilbur and Elizabeth Bluhm of San Antonio.

Raymond used to say, “The only problem with life is that there's no background music.” Well, the night he died, it turns out there was background music. Surrounded by his daughters, a son-in-law, and three grandchildren, they were playing his favorites. At the end, Handel's Messiah was on, and at the very moment they confirmed Raymond had passed, The Hallelujah Chorus began.

The guy had flair.

Special thanks to Raymond’s caregivers, the doctors and nurses of Swedish Hospital, and others who provided support in his final years. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that memorial gifts be made to Smile Train (www.smiletrain.org) to help children in need of cleft surgery and other forms of corrective oral care.

A memorial will be held on Sunday, October 11, 2026 at the Edmonds Waterfront Center, 220 Railroad Ave., Edmonds, WA. 11:00 AM Reception, 12:00 PM Memorial.

Cards and condolences for Mary Pat Wiener and the family may be sent care of Christel Cangas, 19055 21st Ave. NW, Shoreline, WA 98177.