Mary Ellen Coutu

Maryellen Dale Coutu, 83, of Portland, Oregon passed away peacefully at home on May 16,2026. Her loving husband and devoted daughter were with her.

Born Mary Ellen Dale in Minneapolis, Minnesota on December 6, 1942, Maryellen often signed her name with her initials “M.E.,” and it could be said that these letters defined her, for she lived with boundless Momentum and Exuberance, displayed in her numerous hobbies, interests and remarkable ability to overcome many health challenges with tenacious enthusiasm. In later years, Mary Ellen signed her name as one word – Maryellen – so no one would forget either half.

Along with her twin brother, Maryellen was the oldest of eight kids and grew up affectionately called “Nana,” as she spent much of her childhood looking after her younger siblings, even teaching them reading and arithmetic. Empathy for those in need motivated Maryellen from a young age; in high school, she regularly volunteered to assist housebound people living with disabilities. After graduating from the College of St. Catherine in St Paul, Minnesota, she put her compassion to work as an Occupational Therapist, helping elderly mental health patients reclaim their autonomy. In Portland, she worked in the Public Schools, drawn by the optimism of the kids and camaraderie of her coworkers. She joked that “the best perk of the job was June, July and August.” Her work as an O.T. was more than a career – helping people gain independence was a fundamental principle of her life. Maryellen’s belief in self-reliance may have been inspired by her “feisty” temperament along with her desire to live life to the fullest.

A lover of travel, some of Maryellen’s favorite international trips with her husband included Botswana, China, Costa Rica, India, Tanzania, and Vietnam, as well as several United States National Parks. She and John both had a flair for adventure and spent their honeymoon touring Bali on a motorcycle, at one point negotiating with a group of local monkeys to retrieve John’s camera which the primates had pilfered. Maryellen also appreciated a trip to her daughter-in-law Björg’s home country, Iceland, where she narrowly dodged an unexpected burst from a geyser. Her first international trip was a four-week bicycling tour of Europe with her sister Carolyn and her aunt Jo. Maryellen was in charge of the itinerary, no small feat for a nineteen-year-old navigating several foreign languages with nothing but determination and a tattered map.

Maryellen was a fierce competitor in her duplicate bridge club and found peace caring for her garden, which her neighbors nicknamed “the garden of Eden.” Throughout their forty years together, she and John lived an active life, invigorated by kayaking, dance class, swimming, tennis and a bicycle club. During their winters in Dunedin, Florida, they spent time with close friends and snow-bird relatives. They went to Tuesday movies and dinner with her brother Dennis, and she delighted in thrifting excursions with her sister-in-law Joanne. In her final year in Portland, she enjoyed phone calls from her sister-in-law Helga and adored time with her “sweet sister” Carolyn who brought her to chair-yoga, ukulele class, the Cadillac Café, and to savor milkshakes at a drive-through.

As an ardent lover of the arts, Maryellen pursued many creative hobbies. She excelled at painting: acrylics often inspired by her husband John’s photos of flowers, and small, carefully rendered watercolors. Maryellen was an avid poetry writer, as well. During her younger years she handcrafted leather belts and purses which she sold at the Saturday Markets in Eugene and Portland. Other hobbies included pottery, jewelry making and a book club. Maryellen was ever- supportive of her daughter’s career as a playwright and tv-writer. Tanya credits her gift for playwriting to her mother’s animated storytelling in which Maryellen often imitated the voices of the people in her daily life.

Her ten grandkids were a source of boundless joy. She cherished visits to her New York grandchildren for soccer games, track-and-field, choir concerts and Christmas. With her Portland grandchildren, she loved babysitting and helping John host “Camp Coutu” which included hiking, swimming and museum trips.

Maryellen lived frugally but gave generously. She shopped thrift stores and sales, rarely spending a dollar on herself outside of travel. And yet she lived with an open hand, donating to causes she believed in and quietly stepping in for those in need, across her large extended family.

An active member of St. Francis and later St. Andrews, Maryellen embraced the ritual, community and songs of the church. She believed strongly in doctrinal reform, including same-sex marriage equality and the women priesthood ordination movement. She delighted in the annual blessing of the animals at St. Francis (where she brought her dogs). She was also a dedicated member of a spiritual group called Leaven. In her lay sermon, she quoted poet Samuel Ullman, “Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.”

In her final year, as life slowed, Maryellen often said she had the “best husband in the world,” and made a point of telling all those who touched her life that she loved them “to the moon and back.”

Maryellen is survived by her husband, John Paul Coutu, her daughter, Tanya Christine Barfield, and her step-children, John. Jr, Adam, Andrew, Jason, and Karen. She is also survived by her daughters- and sons-in-law, Björg, Crystal, Stella, Michelle, Carolyn, and James; as well as her siblings, Carolyn, Dennis, James, and Christopher; her grandchildren, Alexandria, Darian, Tezmamu, Kieran, Ryan, Mira, Rowelle, Montgomery, Waverly, and Baker; and great-grandson Kaiston. Many beloved nieces, nephews and cousins also enriched her life.

She is preceded in death by her parents, John “Jack” Wesley Dale and Caroline “Kay” Sarah Dale, her godmother Josephine “Jo” Ann Curran, her godfather James “Jim” Thomas Curran, her twin brother John, her brother Gregory, her sister Sheila, her nephew Stephen, and many treasured aunts and uncles.

Maryellen’s family is grateful for the wonderful care she received from her caregiver Pearl Morgan, as well as from the entire Legacy Hospice team. Memorial services will be held on July 11, 2026 at 11am at St Andrew Catholic Church, 806 NE Alberta Street, Portland, Oregon.

In lieu of flowers, the family requests that donations be made to Portland’s Community for Positive Aging, https://www.communityfpa.org/.