Betty Lou “Brown” Grabe 

November 06, 1940-January 31, 2024

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Donald Clyde Grabe

May 21, 1937-February 1, 2024

Better to Remain Silent and Be Thought a Fool than to Speak and Remove All Doubt

Married for 63 Years

Together Forever

Over the course of their marriage Betty and Donald (Don) raised countless animals, four children and one granddaughter: Bobbi Grabe, Andrew Grabe, Dale Grabe, Linda Grabe, and Breauna Grabe. They will be missed fiercely by their children, children's families, extended relatives, by the people who considered them family and their pets, KC and Buddy.    

Don was this quiet force; willing to do anything for those he loved. You wouldn’t think he knew what was going on, but when you needed to bury the evidence, he’d suddenly show up beside you with a shovel. He had a sly dry sense of humor and didn’t mind getting in someone’s face to point out bullshit.

Betty had a mouth that never shut. She was going to tell everyone exactly what she thought of everything. However, once she finished telling you what a fool you had been, she would help you clean up the mess and move on.   

Betty and Don were married for 63 years and 1 month. They were together 70 years. Betty was a freshman and Don was a junior in high school when they started dating. They built their first house paycheck by paycheck, buying more concrete blocks and building it a little more each week.     

When they finished it, they got married. Betty didn’t even remember Don proposing. It was just the next step in the life that they were also building. She did have the choice of an engagement ring or washing machine. She chose the washing machine.

Betty always picked her presents and told Don what he got her. He never made sentimental gestures like flowers or chocolate. However every time one of his kids or Betty took a roadtrip; he checked their cars over and asked if they had a flashlight. If it wasn’t bright enough, he gave them another one that was better. By the time Linda graduated college, she had seven Maglites.  

In 2010, when Betty took Don to see the five diamond 50th anniversary band that he was getting her, he told her to get the one with the bigger diamonds and got out his credit card.

For years they have fought about who got to die first, neither one wanted to be the one left behind. When Don’s infected hip replacement was not healing, Betty decided to go on hospice and stop battling her congestive heart failure and a multitude of other ailments because she was tired and didn’t want to hurt anymore. Don fought until the bitter end.

When Betty was told that Don was expected to pass in the next two days, she was very quiet. Then she held his hand and told him words of love and goodbye. Betty was gone within the hour and Don joined her seven hours later.     

My parents always said that they would never live in a Nursing home. They told the truth, they both passed within 12 hours of being put in a hospice care facility so the family could have a respite. Mom died on January 31, 2024.  I believe she wanted to pass before Dad. Dad held on for seven more hours until February 1, 2024. I like to think that he wanted to get one more month’s worth of pension. He never knew he was the last to go. (Note by Linda Grabe)