How Día de los Muertos Turns Grief Into Healing

Professor Explores Holiday’s Help with Grief
For millions of Mexican-Americans, Mexicans, and Latinos, Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) is one of the “most sacred and significant holidays,” explains expert Mathew Sandoval, Ph.D., aka “Professor Muerte.”
“We take time at the end of October and beginning of November to remember the loved ones we’ve lost and honor the ancestors who came before us,” he said.
Sandoval has become the United States’ most prominent expert on the holiday, having spent more than a decade researching and exploring its meaning. Beyond his own research, he also participates in the holiday with his family, creating large ofrendas (altars) to honor his ancestors.
Sandoval says the holiday has two important components — one of “ceremony” and the other of “festival.” Both pieces help participants cope with death and grief.
Laughing in the Face of Death
In the festival celebration, the participants are working to fight against the fear of death with humor, “It’s really about laughing in the face of death, eradicating that sense of fear, that dread, that overwhelm, transforming that relationship so that it is not something scary. It’s something to poke fun at. It’s something to acknowledge that we will die … taking the sting out of the relationship to death is a big part of Día de los Muertos. It’s supposed to be fun,” Sandoval said.
The Healing ‘Medicine’ of Día de los Muertos
The other aspect of the holiday is the healing, medicinal quality of Día de los Muertos found in its ceremonial side.
It’s a cultural tool to help us work through the difficulty and pain of death. Sandoval says this positive approach takes away the fear of death and replaces it with acceptance.
“Day of the Dead presents the opportunity to honor the dead in a very significant way that allows us to return to that person’s death,” he explained.
To illustrate, Sandoval shared how he builds an altar, or ofrenda, each year to honor his father, who died 25 years ago. He says the practice can transform grief:
“By revisiting, I kind of transform it so that it is no longer something I have to hold onto so deeply and carry the grief around with me every single day. I can release that grief in order to pick up the thoughts of him,” he said.
Storytelling is another important aspect of the holiday, offering another way to bring the lives of those we’ve lost back with us each year.
“By honoring our ancestors, we stay connected to our culture, our values, and our sense of self. The holiday also makes us deal squarely with death, rather than fear it or hide from it. Day of the Dead is an occasion to acknowledge that death is an integral part of life, rather than a negation of life,” he added.
The ‘Coco’ Affect
But though this holiday has roots in Latin American culture, with the popularity of movies like Disney’s Coco, many others in the American “mainstream” are embracing the celebration in part because of the way in which it helps people cope with grief and loss.
Sandoval has mixed feelings about its growing popularity. The Arizona State professor points to one example – the Mattel corporation’s marketing of a Día de los Muertos Barbie that both gives kids an example that they can identify with, and is a crass commandeering of the important cultural holiday. But he says though he was once offended by the mass marketing and commercialization of the holiday, now he has seen that the holiday changes and transforms within the context of the cultures everywhere it is celebrated.
Sandoval has also explored how the holiday and its “cousin” of Halloween have influenced each other in recent years. While some traditionalists worry that Halloween will overshadow what has been a traditional and religious holiday, Sandoval sees the staying power of this adaptation and transformation will giving Día de los Muertos a longer life.
How to Celebrate Día de los Muertos Respectfully
The holiday’s explosion of popularity means that sometimes those who are celebrating it do not do so with the reverence and understanding of the culture’s gifts. Sandoval says the most respectful way to take part is to skip the face painting and costuming and instead, create your own ofrenda to honor your ancestors. He suggests, too, looking into similar celebrations inside your own cultural background.
Transforming Grief Into Joy
“It’s an occasion for us to intentionally activate our grief and transform it into something beautiful, vibrant, and joyous through dance, music, feasting, telling stories, masquerading, and celebration. By transforming grief in these ways, Day of the Dead becomes a deep form of healing. Día de los Muertos is also a lively and joyous occasion because it’s a reminder that we are alive,” he said.
Sandoval believes in the power the holiday has brought to finding meaning in death and loss, and continues to watch it grow and change.
Learn more about Mathew Sandoval and his research.
Guide to Permanent Memorial Options
A permanent memorial offers a dedicated place for family and friends to honor a loved one for generations. This guide explores options like mausoleums, cremation niches, scattering gardens, and more.
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